How Screaming Can Make You A Better Parent

Would you believe me if I told you that screaming could change your life and enrich your relationship with your child?

I couldn’t talk for at least two days.

I went to a leadership training and found myself screaming a lot at the event.

A lot.

So much so that I lost my voice on day two of the three-day event and was doing everything in my power to refrain from talking because I had nothing left in the vocal tank.

But I was feeling the best I had in a LONG time.

I just remember a feeling of freedom.

A feeling of breakthrough.

A feeling of victory.

A feeling of release.

And I didn’t want it to stop.

Why Screaming Can Make You Feel Better

Why did I feel so good at this event after screaming so loud for so long?

Better yet, why did every other attendee who was with me in that audience feel freer after screaming too?

Well, let’s visit China to answer that question.

Thousands of years ago, “moving” energy through the body was itself medicine and had physical health benefits.

They began practicing what would be known as Qigong “Chi-gong” today.

And according to Dr. Nan. Lu, a Qigong Master, screaming was one of the practices taught throughout the generations.

Qigong practitioners and teachers believe screaming moves energy through the lungs and liver. Therefore it was culture to scream daily.

Not only because it’s good for the lungs and liver, but ultimately because it moves energy out of the body that can be stuck.

It releases energy, or emotions.

You can’t help but feel better.

Our thoughts and emotions are waves of energy that move in and out of our experience.

But when you learn to repress them you don’t allow energy to come out.

Then it builds up.

According to a paper published in the National Library of Medicine, “Dysfunctional emotional regulation strategies and, in particular, rumination and emotion suppression appear to be influential in the pathogenesis of depression and physiological disease.”

Later they go on to say that studies suggest emotional dysregulation has a negative influence on cognitive ability and increases cortisol levels.

Why This Matters

I shared the above to get a clear point across, and that is that letting your emotions out will literally make you feel better and be a better person.

Or in this case, a better parent.

And screaming is an absolutely wonderful way to do that.

When you release emotions, natural physical, emotional and mental benefits follow shortly after.

But just because I’m saying screaming is a good idea doesn’t mean all screaming is a good idea.

Scream Into Pillows, Not At Your Kids

I know kids can be a lot at times. They are balls of energy still discovering this world in new ways every single day.

However, no matter how “much” they can be, yelling at them causes more harm than you realize.

According to research done by Mandy Velez, children who grow up with high verbal abuse, or more specifically, “verbal discipline” led to higher cases of depression and behavioral issues.

Yelling doesn’t only cause psychological distress like making a child feel like they’re unloved, not wanted, or unsafe, but it causes physical distress as well.

However this is not the best post to go too deep on this topic, I wanted to make it clear — screaming at your kids doesn’t make you a better parent — but screaming into pillows or out loud without many people around or in a safe place can make you a better parent.

Simply because it releases bottled-up emotions that are causing mental, emotional and physical distress. Which makes it difficult to show up as the best version of ourselves for our kids.

When we’re not emotionally regulated we do and say a lot of things to our kids that we later regret.

I suggest screaming once a day for 30 seconds minimum. The release is astounding (but this is not medical advice, I’m just sayin’)

You can either use a pillow to scream into or buy something like a scream box.

Either way, it pays to fit screaming into your schedule.

In Conclusion

Screaming is a wonderful way to release energy that may be “stuck” inside of you or “bottled-up” emotions.

It’s a great way to regulate your emotions and even improve your physical health, which all directly impact your cognitive abilities and how you show up with your kids.

You can’t help but feel better after it, both mentally and emotionally, which will support you in showing up as the best and most loving version of yourself possible.

If you want help regulating your emotions as a parent and want the same for your child, go ahead and click here to see how we help families do exactly that.

Oh, and the reason I was screaming at the leadership event? Because the training was designed to help us become better PEOPLE by releasing “bottled-up” emotional blocks, so they had us scream at the top of our lungs throughout the entire event and needless to say, it was life-changing.

What about you?

Do you scream for stress relief or emotional regulation? Or are you going to start now?

Let me know in the comments below 👇