A Quality Pitch That Bombed And Why

Please…don’t be this guy, or gal.

I was thoroughly impressed.

It’s not everyday that I receive a cold email pitch that grabs my attention.

Let alone to my personal email, I guard that email pretty tight.

But somehow someone found it and sent me a pitch this morning.

One that made me pay attention.

The subject line read: “book more calls” loom for Adrian

Here was the email itself:

“Hey Adrian,

Just checked out your website. Congrats on getting booked on 52 different podcasts in only 12 months.

My name is Ervin. We help 7–8 fig coaches to convert high ticket clients faster in 30 days through DFY email marketing.

Some of the companies we’ve written for are Dan Bolton, Maya Elious, and others you may know.

Anyway, I know you guys might be pretty busy planning your marketing for 2023…

So I went ahead & shot you a 5min Loom video, think it can help you book more qualified calls from your list.

I used this to help our client to generate 110K in 30 days so I think it can help you too.

What’s your preferred email I can send it to?

- Ervin

P.S. If you don’t want me to contact you again, just reply with “SHOO.”

This is a damn good pitch in my opinion.

Here’s a few reasons:

• First off, he got it sent to my tightly guarded personal email, so I actually saw it. He dug around a bit for that I suppose.
• The subject line intrigued me. It said my name, which caught my attention. And it said “loom” — so I thought… “Did someone really make me a video?”
• If he made me a video, that would be impressive enough. As it’s not daily that you receive video pitches.
• The body started with my name, and highlighted a specific accomplishment that I talk about in my marketing. I know this guy did some research, more than most people sending cold pitches.
• He didn’t spend much time talking about himself, only two lines, then completely went into what he had for me.
• The email was short and formatted in a way that was easy to read.
• He wasn’t making a huge ask. He was just asking to send me a video, an easy yes.

I liked it a lot.

It actually made me smile.

But there was one big problem.

Want to see the reason this pitched bombed… and how to avoid it?

Click here to read the rest of this article.